I saw Mary's answers and wondered if anyone knew any of these things about me. I wonder if I even know these things about me, let;s see,
1. Did you date someone from your school?
Yep, sort of, he'd already moved on to the hard stuff.
2. Did you marry someone from your school?
No, no good Mormons there, other than me, of course.
3. Did you car pool to school?
No, the feet worked fine, until I could drive myself-my mother's car.
4. What kind of car did you have?
Who remembers stuff like that, an old station wagon maybe.
5. What kind of car do you have now?
A 1995 Ford Taurus--thank you John!
6. It's Friday night...where are you? (then)
On a date or getting ready for a speach contest, at least every other Saturday.
7. It is Friday night...where are you? (now)
Feeding Pspa, and watching tv-such a thrilling life!
8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
Job? Who had time for that, too many service opportunities. I did all of them!
9. What kind of job do you do now?
The ultimate Social Worker-186 sisters keep me pretty busy.
10. Were you a party animal?
Sort of, I was the designated driver. As the only non-drinker I enjoyed lots of laughs watching the fools.
11. Were you considered a flirt?
Probably, with the debaters form other--less Cuban--high schools.
12. Were you in band, orchestra, choir?
Sorry, no. Debate anyone?
13. Were you a nerd?
Not really, did we have nerds in the 70's?
14. Did you get suspended or expelled?
Yep, but I was right! and in the end the Principal got in trouble for it. He called me an encouragable. Me? Someday i will tell you the story.
15. Can you sing the fight song?
No, that information has been permanently deleated from the data base. But I do remember my favorite cheer. "Womp up si' head, womp up si' head"
16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
I wasn't there enough to know their names in the first place.
17. Where did you sit during lunch?
I had to show up in order to go to lunch. (I got great grades, I could speak English)
18. What was your school's full name?
Miami Senior High School
19. When did you graduate?
1973-so long ago
20. What was your school mascot?
Stingray
21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
No, it got better and th ebest is still yet to come.
22. Did you have fun at prom?
Yes, but I didn't really get asked until just the day or two before. I am glad I went!
23. Do you still talk to the person you went to prom with?
Not in the last 35 years or so--oh, I am suddenly feeling really old.
24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
Haven't been to one yet, why start now?
25. Do you still talk to people from school?
Not a single one, and I haven't since I got married. Living acorss the country doesn't help, but I doubt I would anyway. See #1 and 2 above.
So now you know who I was in High School. I wish I had a picture I could share, but living in the past never has done me any good--I was kind-of pretty though way back when,
Forever the optimist-The best is (still) yet to come!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
You can't beat free
Hey, I found this new site. It's kind of cool and you can't beat free!
Actually I saw it on Good Things Utah and they check things out before showing them. anyway, if you like to enter giveaways . . .that promise not to sell or give away your contact info, give this one a try. the prizes are great.
giveawaytoday@hotmail.com
Actually I saw it on Good Things Utah and they check things out before showing them. anyway, if you like to enter giveaways . . .that promise not to sell or give away your contact info, give this one a try. the prizes are great.
giveawaytoday@hotmail.com
Sunday, March 8, 2009
A Refreshing View
Today, after Relief Society, Pat and i went to SLC to hear Mary and Allen speak in Church. We had the privledge of hold, wrangling Benji for the meeting.
We made a few mistakes in that process. Benji doesn't drink well out of his sippy cup when the lid is still on it. Papa was pretty wet but not quite as wet as Benji. Sippy cups do leak through lids when sucked on hard enough. And Nanny has definitely lost her knack at helping little people drink from very small cups. Benjie can, on the other hand, squirt water a considerable distance when he does not want it in his mouth. Allen was also correct inthe comment he made at Benjie's first birthday party, "it's not so much what the book is about as it is what it tastes like." We had one really good tasting book, we knew that when we tried to take it away from him. The best I could do is kinda' mash the cardboard back into its original shape and try and smooth the lamaneted cover back down. Sorry guys! We also managed to deestroy a very cute yellow tie. It was a clip on and seemed to be gouginh Benjie's neck. He didn't really complain, so I should have left it alone. But, it looked so painful. I just couldn't leave it alone. the tie part came off first, then finally the clip. It really was my fault. the darn thing was such a challenge. I spent a good portion of the time trying to put it back together. No Luck, sorry again. i will get him a new one, on elastic if I can find one like that. It will not look so painful anyway.
We only let the little guy down on the floor once. keeping him from speeding down the asile was like holding back a bull from entering the arena at a rodeo. Only I was the rider, holding on for dear life sortof. He is one strong dude with a will of iron. But no crying over that anyway. Nearly tripped a little girl but the disster was avoided. If the little girl had cried, Ben would have had such sympathy that I would have had to leave the chapel. He was in "sympathy" mode most of the meeting. When he could hear another child cry, well, he responded.
All and all it was a very quiet meeting by ????? 15th Ward standards anyway. (Someone might get offended if I put the whole mane in there)
What I really wanted to say is, it was so refreshing to see and hear Allen and Mary talk like adults, about adult topics. It's been a while since there was much of any conversation around this house that was not about, by, or directed at little people. We as Grandparents love to hear about all the changes in the little one's lives, and we love to make and hear them laugh. Talking and singing to these precious spirits is a privledge and absolutely down-right fun. It's just easy to forgo the adult stuff. It's easy to forget that the parents have brains left in thir heads (You do have some brains left, I know. They may be difficult to locate but the exercise is worth it!)
Mary and ALlen both did a great jobs. See all that moving around and those "new member" speaking opportunities have paid off. I only wish we could have stayed for dinner. We had ONE home teaching appointment to get home to. Dad likes to do one a week if he can, too bad we are supposed to visit 5 families. We usually get all of them that will let us in.
Thanks again for sharing the experience, Benjie, and your adult talks with us. I will look for a tie.
Happy sunday all!
We made a few mistakes in that process. Benji doesn't drink well out of his sippy cup when the lid is still on it. Papa was pretty wet but not quite as wet as Benji. Sippy cups do leak through lids when sucked on hard enough. And Nanny has definitely lost her knack at helping little people drink from very small cups. Benjie can, on the other hand, squirt water a considerable distance when he does not want it in his mouth. Allen was also correct inthe comment he made at Benjie's first birthday party, "it's not so much what the book is about as it is what it tastes like." We had one really good tasting book, we knew that when we tried to take it away from him. The best I could do is kinda' mash the cardboard back into its original shape and try and smooth the lamaneted cover back down. Sorry guys! We also managed to deestroy a very cute yellow tie. It was a clip on and seemed to be gouginh Benjie's neck. He didn't really complain, so I should have left it alone. But, it looked so painful. I just couldn't leave it alone. the tie part came off first, then finally the clip. It really was my fault. the darn thing was such a challenge. I spent a good portion of the time trying to put it back together. No Luck, sorry again. i will get him a new one, on elastic if I can find one like that. It will not look so painful anyway.
We only let the little guy down on the floor once. keeping him from speeding down the asile was like holding back a bull from entering the arena at a rodeo. Only I was the rider, holding on for dear life sortof. He is one strong dude with a will of iron. But no crying over that anyway. Nearly tripped a little girl but the disster was avoided. If the little girl had cried, Ben would have had such sympathy that I would have had to leave the chapel. He was in "sympathy" mode most of the meeting. When he could hear another child cry, well, he responded.
All and all it was a very quiet meeting by ????? 15th Ward standards anyway. (Someone might get offended if I put the whole mane in there)
What I really wanted to say is, it was so refreshing to see and hear Allen and Mary talk like adults, about adult topics. It's been a while since there was much of any conversation around this house that was not about, by, or directed at little people. We as Grandparents love to hear about all the changes in the little one's lives, and we love to make and hear them laugh. Talking and singing to these precious spirits is a privledge and absolutely down-right fun. It's just easy to forgo the adult stuff. It's easy to forget that the parents have brains left in thir heads (You do have some brains left, I know. They may be difficult to locate but the exercise is worth it!)
Mary and ALlen both did a great jobs. See all that moving around and those "new member" speaking opportunities have paid off. I only wish we could have stayed for dinner. We had ONE home teaching appointment to get home to. Dad likes to do one a week if he can, too bad we are supposed to visit 5 families. We usually get all of them that will let us in.
Thanks again for sharing the experience, Benjie, and your adult talks with us. I will look for a tie.
Happy sunday all!
Friday, March 6, 2009
Code Words and Meanings
I have been discerning (not too successfully) or trying to uncover the real meanings to words and phrases used by my husband and children
Over 20 years ago, when we still lived in Panguitch, I asked Pat what "A few minutes" actually means. Is it 3-5, 5-15, or maybe 30, or possible an hour. I truly remember standing by the phone and wondering, just how long is it really going to be before he gets home. He had developed the habit of calling-I taught him that trick*-but I just had not picked up the exact correct meaning of the wors "a few" as opposed to "directly" or "shortly.
* The trick. I learned, even before the days of cell phones and the convenience of today, that if I called home and warrned the kids that I would be home in 5 minutes---they would run around and get more done in that little five minutes than in hours on a usual day. Motivation is such a powerful thing!
Now Pat calls from Far West, after getting gas and I know it'll be 40-45 minutes. I am sure he thinks I run around and get everything done just for him. Pat if you are reading this STOP NOW. "You can't handle the truth." I actually lie down on the couch and take advantage of the quiet and rest without guilt so I can be ready for the weekend. I will try to think of what I can make for dinner. but I have found rest comes easier if that decision has already been made.
But last night, while Ella was spending the night with me, I began to develop the dictionary for the next generation.
"I am not hungry" means I know I can talk Granny out of treats after Mom leaves. (It's not true except in Ella's mind)
"I am not tired" means I can get you to play with me more, I know I can and I am not going to even try and go to sleep.
"I am hungry" means I want to cook something with you, not necessarily eat it, just cook it.
"Let's go back to bed" or "Let's take a nap" No matter how attractive the thought may be, .,do not fall for this one. It is not what it appears to be! I was so excited, go back to bed at 7 a.m., having already cooked and eaten pancakes and eggs and juice I thougth, yea!!! This is the reward Grannys get for being so Granny-like. It really means, I want all your attention for myself. I want you to play with me in your big bed. I have no intention of going back to sleep, I am tricking you into more play in a new location.
And for the last one for the day:
"I don't like to pick up toys" in conjunction with it's dramatic big brother, "I really do not like to clean up!"
Coming from a four year old these both mean I am going to avoid this request. . . To which I first responded, "I don't like to pick up toys either, especially when I didn't take them out" Of course, that is when the big dramatic brother entered the picture. Not just stated once or twice but three times,
"I really do not like to clean up!" (neither do I)
"I really do not like to clean up!" (if I did would my house look like this?)
"I really do not like to clean up!" (Well you have a choice. .I did not raise my voice. "You can help me clean up the toys or not come back and spend the night at Granny's for a very long time." She did choose to help clean up, and did do some, but without my help, it was getting to late and I had an appointment at 10 a.m. and I still had to take her home. So the delay part did sort of work.
I wonder what my words mean to Ella--
No means maybe,
Maybe means ask again and again, a yes is right around the corner.
Yes means I can expect to get the same response every time I ask, so why ask.
Rules-"we don't need rules" a direct quote from last night's dinner conversation with Ella!
No dessert means not whjle Mommy is here (but not last night, no dessert means NO dessert.) She was so excited to see her leftover dinner was not on the table for breakfast.
I wonder how Pat interprets my words? Oh my, that would assume he hears them, how silly of me.
Over 20 years ago, when we still lived in Panguitch, I asked Pat what "A few minutes" actually means. Is it 3-5, 5-15, or maybe 30, or possible an hour. I truly remember standing by the phone and wondering, just how long is it really going to be before he gets home. He had developed the habit of calling-I taught him that trick*-but I just had not picked up the exact correct meaning of the wors "a few" as opposed to "directly" or "shortly.
* The trick. I learned, even before the days of cell phones and the convenience of today, that if I called home and warrned the kids that I would be home in 5 minutes---they would run around and get more done in that little five minutes than in hours on a usual day. Motivation is such a powerful thing!
Now Pat calls from Far West, after getting gas and I know it'll be 40-45 minutes. I am sure he thinks I run around and get everything done just for him. Pat if you are reading this STOP NOW. "You can't handle the truth." I actually lie down on the couch and take advantage of the quiet and rest without guilt so I can be ready for the weekend. I will try to think of what I can make for dinner. but I have found rest comes easier if that decision has already been made.
But last night, while Ella was spending the night with me, I began to develop the dictionary for the next generation.
"I am not hungry" means I know I can talk Granny out of treats after Mom leaves. (It's not true except in Ella's mind)
"I am not tired" means I can get you to play with me more, I know I can and I am not going to even try and go to sleep.
"I am hungry" means I want to cook something with you, not necessarily eat it, just cook it.
"Let's go back to bed" or "Let's take a nap" No matter how attractive the thought may be, .,do not fall for this one. It is not what it appears to be! I was so excited, go back to bed at 7 a.m., having already cooked and eaten pancakes and eggs and juice I thougth, yea!!! This is the reward Grannys get for being so Granny-like. It really means, I want all your attention for myself. I want you to play with me in your big bed. I have no intention of going back to sleep, I am tricking you into more play in a new location.
And for the last one for the day:
"I don't like to pick up toys" in conjunction with it's dramatic big brother, "I really do not like to clean up!"
Coming from a four year old these both mean I am going to avoid this request. . . To which I first responded, "I don't like to pick up toys either, especially when I didn't take them out" Of course, that is when the big dramatic brother entered the picture. Not just stated once or twice but three times,
"I really do not like to clean up!" (neither do I)
"I really do not like to clean up!" (if I did would my house look like this?)
"I really do not like to clean up!" (Well you have a choice. .I did not raise my voice. "You can help me clean up the toys or not come back and spend the night at Granny's for a very long time." She did choose to help clean up, and did do some, but without my help, it was getting to late and I had an appointment at 10 a.m. and I still had to take her home. So the delay part did sort of work.
I wonder what my words mean to Ella--
No means maybe,
Maybe means ask again and again, a yes is right around the corner.
Yes means I can expect to get the same response every time I ask, so why ask.
Rules-"we don't need rules" a direct quote from last night's dinner conversation with Ella!
No dessert means not whjle Mommy is here (but not last night, no dessert means NO dessert.) She was so excited to see her leftover dinner was not on the table for breakfast.
I wonder how Pat interprets my words? Oh my, that would assume he hears them, how silly of me.
a kook of a cookie
| I am a Thin Mint. | ||
 Your fearlessness has paid off. You are extremely well liked and popular. You are charismatic and charming without even trying to be. People appreciate your unique take on life. You are willing to take risks, speak your mind, and live life to the fullest. Well at least there is something thin about me. I thought I would be a Peanut Butter Sandwich like Rachael
Truly--am probably all cookies to all people. A kook of a cookie, that is me.  |
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Another Relief Society Birthday Party
Life is good, the party is over and I am home again.
I can't believe how surprised I am that so much goes into these parties.
I hae a great Homemaking Counselor. She and the Enrichment leader have been working on this one for over a month. They tried countless recipes for middle eastern soups and turkish cornbread. Just in case there were some less adventurous among us a good old fashion beef stew was also provided. It was the first gone. For dessert we had brides fingers, a real traditional treat. All and all the food was great.
We had a program based on the book based on the parable of the Ten Virgins. After which I gave a little talk tying together the Relief Society Birthday, our current circumstances and applying the parable to the sisters in the ward. We really involved a good number of sisters and had a turnout of over 69 sisters. The two counselors in the Bishopric were there but the Bishop was not. Oh well, I have to trust people make the best decisions they can.
Again I am reminded, there are things I could not do alone. This was deffinitly one of them. I am so very grateful for faithful sisters that follow through, no matter how big or small the part It is a beautiful thin and one of God's tender mercies.
I can't believe how surprised I am that so much goes into these parties.
I hae a great Homemaking Counselor. She and the Enrichment leader have been working on this one for over a month. They tried countless recipes for middle eastern soups and turkish cornbread. Just in case there were some less adventurous among us a good old fashion beef stew was also provided. It was the first gone. For dessert we had brides fingers, a real traditional treat. All and all the food was great.
We had a program based on the book based on the parable of the Ten Virgins. After which I gave a little talk tying together the Relief Society Birthday, our current circumstances and applying the parable to the sisters in the ward. We really involved a good number of sisters and had a turnout of over 69 sisters. The two counselors in the Bishopric were there but the Bishop was not. Oh well, I have to trust people make the best decisions they can.
Again I am reminded, there are things I could not do alone. This was deffinitly one of them. I am so very grateful for faithful sisters that follow through, no matter how big or small the part It is a beautiful thin and one of God's tender mercies.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Understanding me may be impossible
While it's true, understanding me may be impossible, a little extra information may just help. I'll give it a try and maybe you, my precious family and friends, will . . .we'll srr.
Today we went, as a family more or less. to tour the Draper Temple. I've done this kind fo thing before and franlkey, standing in line for hours just holds no appeal for me. I knew I could go at another time, do a session and seem most everything. Why should I drive two hours (to Draper), stand in line and be cold and frustrated only to drive hours back home?
If I only had myself to consider, I would have stayed home. the Ward Relief Society Birthday Party is on Wednesday and there is so much to do. There are still the triplets, now gestationally almost a month old, adn the family that still need help. and, of course, dwindling volunteers. So, I am helping there too. As a presidency we just cannot make up the whole difference and do as much as been requested. I also promised Ella she could spend the night on Thursday night--it's actually easier without Papa around (imagine that). So, I have plenty to do right here at home. Oh yea, I am taking dinner to a family on Thursday . . .I don't even want to look at the "brain in a bag" or BNB. I am afraid of what I might find. all that on top of the headaches that just will not go away, eyes that are always blurry, and changing pi;;s, to say nothing of Granny. It's no wonder I wasn't excited about the trip.
But, I have two precious sons-in-law and two daughters who have not had the opportunity to go to the temple. This would be one of the few times they could go to the temple and perhaps taste the sweetness of the eternal promises made there. that alone made the trip a real rare and important opportunity. In addition, yesterday was Allen's birthday and Lance's is in two weeks so it was decided that this would be a great time to celebrate--I agreed, and I went. But instead of going to the Temple I volunteered to stay behind and babysit so the ones that really needed to go could manage the whole thing. Remember all that standing in line and . . .It's just miserable when you have sick or tired kids with you. Perhaps it was the experience we had waiting for over four hours in line to see the Logan Temple before the rededication some 30 years ago, at just this time of year in the snow, with three tiny kids, Mary was only a few weeks old, that was bouncing around in the back of my brain that made me so willing to do the babysitting. What ever it was, I knew I was providing a service to my family. I was also able to cook the asperagus, put the salad together, cook the lasagna (Mary had made it, I just cooked it so it would be hot and ready), set up the serving line . . . and, of course change diapers, make bottles, feed the little ones, and hold Tessa almost the whole time, so everything would be ready when the masses finally got home.
I was so blessed that including travel time they were gone 3 hours or so! But that is when things really went down hill. It seems Mary and Allen stopped at Costco to get a birthday cake. She called him when she came out the door so Allen and Benji could pick her up. It was then that her brand new, long awaited, only two day old cell phone slid out of her purse.
Sarah called the phone only to have the service desk at Costco answer the phone and inform her that the phone had been run over by a car and then turned in. Sarah called and told me. I guess I over reacted. the others that had already made it home were sure they had been in a car accident . . . they were releived, it was just a phone. they were right, it was just a phone. It was what would happen to Mary as the result that really was at the heart of my panic.
You see, I have been in very similar situations many times in my married life. And it was NOT fun. You see. allen was really upset by it. He let it ruin his whole party. It didn't matter how many people. especially Mary, had gone out of their way to make this day special for him. No, a pure accident was going to ruin it. AND it would all be Mary's fault. His first worry was, of course, how they didn't have the money to replace the phone. So much like my husband, the money was the issue and it was always my fault money was tight. I was the stupid one that spent too much money and in essence jsut cost him too much money. And I knew it! I was clumbsy, getting hurt form time to time (and that means co-pays) Then there were the illnesses and surgeries and cavities,root canals, and way too many prescriptions. . . .all ofwhich cost him money. And I always felt like a burden, he would have been so much the better without. With his limited ability to express ;ove in terms I appreciate, it's no wonder I've been depressed.
And Mary has struggled with the same kind of things. As we left, Mary was not home yet. I could just see her in the Costco parking lot just sitting in the car crying. knowing when she got homw there would be a mess of dishes to clean up, a frustrated husband (who in spite of my proding, would not even consider calling and trying to see if the company would do anything for them....they put it on the debit card. If it had been on the credit card they would have had some benefits. . .) and after waiting all these years for a new phone. one that had been run over.
Perhaps I was just projecting my pain on to her situation. Oh how I pray that was the situation. But I am afraid, I do not want her to go through years of feeling stupid, clumbsy, and at best a burden.
I spent 10 ears earning a Ph.D. to prove Iwas NOT stupid! That was one thing I could do. I couldn't do anything about my genetically inherited physical problems, maybe I could have taken some kind of grace classes-or avoided more physical activity--and the associated accidents--but walking and gardening, come on! But then that would have just made the weight problems even worse. I don't know what I really could have done. It just really hurts to see my wonderful daughter repeating so many of my trials. they just are not fun.
I love you Mary. I am sorry about the phone. You worked so hard on that whole party thing. the Lasagne was so good! Your house looked GREAT!!! Every inch was perfect, I appreciate how hard that is with a little guy and work and moving. I could never have done it any better. Even your bed was made. I had to close the door to keep the kiddos out. I am so proud of you. I think you are marvelous! You are worth everything, it was just a phone. If I had the money . . . I will love you forever (sorry, that is all I've got) Mom
Today we went, as a family more or less. to tour the Draper Temple. I've done this kind fo thing before and franlkey, standing in line for hours just holds no appeal for me. I knew I could go at another time, do a session and seem most everything. Why should I drive two hours (to Draper), stand in line and be cold and frustrated only to drive hours back home?
If I only had myself to consider, I would have stayed home. the Ward Relief Society Birthday Party is on Wednesday and there is so much to do. There are still the triplets, now gestationally almost a month old, adn the family that still need help. and, of course, dwindling volunteers. So, I am helping there too. As a presidency we just cannot make up the whole difference and do as much as been requested. I also promised Ella she could spend the night on Thursday night--it's actually easier without Papa around (imagine that). So, I have plenty to do right here at home. Oh yea, I am taking dinner to a family on Thursday . . .I don't even want to look at the "brain in a bag" or BNB. I am afraid of what I might find. all that on top of the headaches that just will not go away, eyes that are always blurry, and changing pi;;s, to say nothing of Granny. It's no wonder I wasn't excited about the trip.
But, I have two precious sons-in-law and two daughters who have not had the opportunity to go to the temple. This would be one of the few times they could go to the temple and perhaps taste the sweetness of the eternal promises made there. that alone made the trip a real rare and important opportunity. In addition, yesterday was Allen's birthday and Lance's is in two weeks so it was decided that this would be a great time to celebrate--I agreed, and I went. But instead of going to the Temple I volunteered to stay behind and babysit so the ones that really needed to go could manage the whole thing. Remember all that standing in line and . . .It's just miserable when you have sick or tired kids with you. Perhaps it was the experience we had waiting for over four hours in line to see the Logan Temple before the rededication some 30 years ago, at just this time of year in the snow, with three tiny kids, Mary was only a few weeks old, that was bouncing around in the back of my brain that made me so willing to do the babysitting. What ever it was, I knew I was providing a service to my family. I was also able to cook the asperagus, put the salad together, cook the lasagna (Mary had made it, I just cooked it so it would be hot and ready), set up the serving line . . . and, of course change diapers, make bottles, feed the little ones, and hold Tessa almost the whole time, so everything would be ready when the masses finally got home.
I was so blessed that including travel time they were gone 3 hours or so! But that is when things really went down hill. It seems Mary and Allen stopped at Costco to get a birthday cake. She called him when she came out the door so Allen and Benji could pick her up. It was then that her brand new, long awaited, only two day old cell phone slid out of her purse.
Sarah called the phone only to have the service desk at Costco answer the phone and inform her that the phone had been run over by a car and then turned in. Sarah called and told me. I guess I over reacted. the others that had already made it home were sure they had been in a car accident . . . they were releived, it was just a phone. they were right, it was just a phone. It was what would happen to Mary as the result that really was at the heart of my panic.
You see, I have been in very similar situations many times in my married life. And it was NOT fun. You see. allen was really upset by it. He let it ruin his whole party. It didn't matter how many people. especially Mary, had gone out of their way to make this day special for him. No, a pure accident was going to ruin it. AND it would all be Mary's fault. His first worry was, of course, how they didn't have the money to replace the phone. So much like my husband, the money was the issue and it was always my fault money was tight. I was the stupid one that spent too much money and in essence jsut cost him too much money. And I knew it! I was clumbsy, getting hurt form time to time (and that means co-pays) Then there were the illnesses and surgeries and cavities,root canals, and way too many prescriptions. . . .all ofwhich cost him money. And I always felt like a burden, he would have been so much the better without. With his limited ability to express ;ove in terms I appreciate, it's no wonder I've been depressed.
And Mary has struggled with the same kind of things. As we left, Mary was not home yet. I could just see her in the Costco parking lot just sitting in the car crying. knowing when she got homw there would be a mess of dishes to clean up, a frustrated husband (who in spite of my proding, would not even consider calling and trying to see if the company would do anything for them....they put it on the debit card. If it had been on the credit card they would have had some benefits. . .) and after waiting all these years for a new phone. one that had been run over.
Perhaps I was just projecting my pain on to her situation. Oh how I pray that was the situation. But I am afraid, I do not want her to go through years of feeling stupid, clumbsy, and at best a burden.
I spent 10 ears earning a Ph.D. to prove Iwas NOT stupid! That was one thing I could do. I couldn't do anything about my genetically inherited physical problems, maybe I could have taken some kind of grace classes-or avoided more physical activity--and the associated accidents--but walking and gardening, come on! But then that would have just made the weight problems even worse. I don't know what I really could have done. It just really hurts to see my wonderful daughter repeating so many of my trials. they just are not fun.
I love you Mary. I am sorry about the phone. You worked so hard on that whole party thing. the Lasagne was so good! Your house looked GREAT!!! Every inch was perfect, I appreciate how hard that is with a little guy and work and moving. I could never have done it any better. Even your bed was made. I had to close the door to keep the kiddos out. I am so proud of you. I think you are marvelous! You are worth everything, it was just a phone. If I had the money . . . I will love you forever (sorry, that is all I've got) Mom
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