A beautiful view and excellent place to hike or a 'hell of a place to loose a cow'

This picture was taken at a recent trip to Bryce Canyon. When you consider Bryce, perspective is important. Bryce is a beautiful view, an excellent place to hike, or a "hell of a place to loose a cow."

Perspective or It's all in how you look at it

I spent some time with a friend today and once again came to the conclusion that pespective it all important!

My Mom forgot to get me a gift for my birthday. She has no idea how much that hurt my feelings, especially after Pat's family reunion. However, my mother is alive, a gift I can not begin to measure.

Another friend had a job offer, for a job he really wanted, withdrawn. But, he has a job. He is smart enough to look for employment while still employed. Such a disappointment, it cannot be denied. He has been looking for such a long time, But, he has a job.

Day after day I work with people trying to assist them in securing employment. and day after day we are met with challenges. Hundreds of applications for one job. I do not need a job, or so my husband says.

I taught a class on perspective as part of a graduate qualitative research class. I like to think I am aware of perspective. In my dissertation research three men with quadriplegia (that is how they prefer to be described if it is pertinent to the discussion) were working full time. they were grateful to be alive-looking at what they had instead of what they did not have. But there were many others that were on disability with far less disabling conditions. One told me that his hands were stiff and he could no longer lay bricks. Another had a bipolar and was content with receiving SSDI and working part time. As I interviewed people it became abundantly clear that the perspective of the client as well as the case manager/physical therapist was of critical importance. The support system available for the individual and secure housing were also critical factors. The individual with disabilities could not control all of the variables. But he/she can choose perspective.

So why write this? I have been through a rough patch. I pray I am through it! and I needed to be reminded that it's all in the perspective you choose. Yes, the glass is half empty and half full at the same time.

I wish it was easier to remember.

Because Kindness Matters

It's been a while, a long while but if I am ever to start again now is a great time.

Because Kindness Matters

As we go through life and experience the educational system and even Religion we learn that what we do matters.hat if I studied hard enough I could get an A. I would be judged by the quality of my work product. OK. But then there were the 'kiss-ups'. Nobody really liked them, or did they? If they were being nice to you or you were part of the privileged group, who knows. I wasn't part of the in crowd or at least not that I knew of.

Psychological studies have been done that show that after a teacher receives a gift from a student the teacher is no longer able to impartially judge the student or their work. jI came to know about this study via an incredible professor in my graduate studies. He refused a really cool gift that was part of a cultural presentation. How could that be? It is totally unconxcious on the part of the teacher. He/she simply has 'happy' thoughts when interacting with the student or reading the work of the generous student. The student did not offer the gift as a bribe. that was never his intention.

Have you ever been in a class with an individual that was a kiss-up and got the beat grades? You may have minimized their achievement because of their relationship with the teacher.
That may be so but perhaps not. The student may just be kind and thoughtful. I have taken treats to class absolutely without the intention of influencing the instructor. I was just being kind.

Have you ever been in a religious course where the teacher never even tried to learn you name? He could be a great source of knowledge but never smiled or invested himself in the process. A home teacher that comes every month (that would be a miracle in and of itself) but doesn't speak to you outside of your home. He may fulfill stated expectation. Just like the student that does a great job on a paper, also fulfilling every expectation but is a grouch in class.

What about the person at work that thinks he is better than you? He does a great job, but so do you. What about the kiss-up at work? You know one, the one that seems to get every advantage and promotion who may or may not do a good job. Who do you want to be around? And what is the culture or unexpected rules of your circle, be it Church, school, or neighborhood.

We are taught supreme justice. Do the right things and get the reward or at least avoid the pitfalls. However, attitude counts and kindness matters. It can be entirely unconscious that favors are given or not. Who wants to be around the girl that is the best at everything and lets you know about it? Do you want that person on your team? Or would you prefer the one that is a little more mortal, can make mistakes but accepts you, laugh with you and celebrate your success?

Kindness matters. The kiss-up might not be such a kiss-up but one that has learned that kindness matters. Why not try the old adage, "you can trap more flies with honey than vinegar?" Or what about the "kill them with kindness" approach? If being the best isn't getting you what you want maybe you are submersed in a culture not fully based on accompolishments. No matter how much we want to believe we will be judged righteously on our actions I am afraid the context counts. Who want a very proficient secretary that can not smile?

Remember the Primary song. I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see. I say to my self remember this, kindness begins with me.

Kindness can't be the only thing but it always matters.