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Together

Together

Friday, February 25, 2011

Of Mice and Men and Money


So, what am I supposed to learn from a mouse infestation? Should that be a 'mice' infestation? After all, it it were only a single mouse it would not be an infestation nor would it get my attention like this!

Why?

I called the Pest control (after the spread of much poison) and they said all they would do is put out traps-and charge $45 to do it. Then they would charge me another $45 to come back and dump them. Thus the money issue. I invested in more poison.

That is where the question of men comes into play. Where is he when I need him? Traps or poisoned-they still need to be removed. And he is working in out of town, of course. and that is where he should be, but . . .

All I seem to have are the mice. Thank heavens for beck, and her willingness to 'act like a man' and dispose of the newly departed.

But yesterday, I heard sounds coming out of my washer-and they were not the usual washing or even the banging sounds. UGH!!!!!

Maybe we can borrow some traps for the weekend and my man can perform his husbandly duty.

Well that is the mortal side of my dilemma. What is the really message behind the message?

"Rid yourself of the unwanted infestation, even if it takes the intermediate help of a kind, brave intervener and the long term assistance a greater power.



There was a (middle aged-life experienced) woman who live in a house. Where in entered a tiny mouse. But being alone he invited his friends The house warm and lovely, like mid-century inns. The boys and girls they multiplied While the woman in charge-her nerves became fried. She tried all the easy ways to get rid of the demons, But undeterred they flourished and had little ones. The woman a fright, sought solutions fast and easy But learned this challenge was not 'easy breezy'. Now admitting her powerless and exhausted state She called upon the powers that always await. (ME--I am sincerely praying for the ending) A solution was found by those that have power, there is no longer the need to shiver or cower. She's no longer afraid of kneeling alone She's grateful for courage and how she has grown.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

About Me

About Me

Maybe this is just what I needed- Tagged by Mary and a reason to begin again.

This is not unlike my life. I start and restart many many time
s. I guess as long as I do not give up, Hummm can I take consistence out of the dictionary? No just put my picture in the definition of "Try again"

1-What would be your ideal vacation? I would love to go to Israel, for at least a week, and see the Holy Land with my husband and some great LDS scriptorian and historian.


2-If you could have any paid career (with or without having to do through years of school to do it), what would it be? Seminary teacher. But in Utah that . . .I would even do it for the blessings.

3-What is your favorite song of all time? O Holy Night, How Great thou Art or Faith in Every Footstep. Boring eh??

4-What did you do on your very first date? hiked up Stone Mountain in Georgia and went to the amusement park on top. I can't remember the young man's name, he was a friend of my cousin, but it was really fun. Except for the part where my cousin, the driver of the car was going over 80 in the freeway . . .Remember this was 39 years ago and cars did not commonly go that fast, the speed limit was probably 60.

5-If you could have one free plastic surgery procedure, would you do? A major tummy (removal) tuck if a body transplant was not available. What would you change? everything below the chin, no below the lips (I kind'a like my smile,). No, I need lips, below the nose. No, the sinuses and surgical entry could . . , Below the eyes--but the eyelids are sagging. What about below the hair line? What the heck? there would not be much of me left. Just get rid of the stomach and left over sags! That would be great! Enough day dreaming!

6-What is your favorite guilty pleasure? Project Runway and Great Grains brownies.

7-What is your favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving. There is nothing to compare to the joy of recognizing our bountiful blessings, Family and the beginning of the Christmas Season--for the rest of the world-after all I get started long before that!

8-What did you do to celebrate the turn of the millenium (New Year's Eve, partying like it was 1999)? Who knows. I was just remember being grateful to be alive!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

A beautiful view and excellent place to hike or a 'hell of a place to loose a cow'


This picture was taken at a recent trip to Bryce Canyon. When you consider Bryce, perspective is important. Bryce is a beautiful view, an excellent place to hike, or a "hell of a place to loose a cow."

Perspective or It's all in how you look at it

I spent some time with a friend today and once again came to the conclusion that pespective it all important!

My Mom forgot to get me a gift for my birthday. She has no idea how much that hurt my feelings, especially after Pat's family reunion. However, my mother is alive, a gift I can not begin to measure.

Another friend had a job offer, for a job he really wanted, withdrawn. But, he has a job. He is smart enough to look for employment while still employed. Such a disappointment, it cannot be denied. He has been looking for such a long time, But, he has a job.

Day after day I work with people trying to assist them in securing employment. and day after day we are met with challenges. Hundreds of applications for one job. I do not need a job, or so my husband says.

I taught a class on perspective as part of a graduate qualitative research class. I like to think I am aware of perspective. In my dissertation research three men with quadriplegia (that is how they prefer to be described if it is pertinent to the discussion) were working full time. they were grateful to be alive-looking at what they had instead of what they did not have. But there were many others that were on disability with far less disabling conditions. One told me that his hands were stiff and he could no longer lay bricks. Another had a bipolar and was content with receiving SSDI and working part time. As I interviewed people it became abundantly clear that the perspective of the client as well as the case manager/physical therapist was of critical importance. The support system available for the individual and secure housing were also critical factors. The individual with disabilities could not control all of the variables. But he/she can choose perspective.

So why write this? I have been through a rough patch. I pray I am through it! and I needed to be reminded that it's all in the perspective you choose. Yes, the glass is half empty and half full at the same time.

I wish it was easier to remember.

Because Kindness Matters

It's been a while, a long while but if I am ever to start again now is a great time.

Because Kindness Matters

As we go through life and experience the educational system and even Religion we learn that what we do matters.hat if I studied hard enough I could get an A. I would be judged by the quality of my work product. OK. But then there were the 'kiss-ups'. Nobody really liked them, or did they? If they were being nice to you or you were part of the privileged group, who knows. I wasn't part of the in crowd or at least not that I knew of.

Psychological studies have been done that show that after a teacher receives a gift from a student the teacher is no longer able to impartially judge the student or their work. jI came to know about this study via an incredible professor in my graduate studies. He refused a really cool gift that was part of a cultural presentation. How could that be? It is totally unconxcious on the part of the teacher. He/she simply has 'happy' thoughts when interacting with the student or reading the work of the generous student. The student did not offer the gift as a bribe. that was never his intention.

Have you ever been in a class with an individual that was a kiss-up and got the beat grades? You may have minimized their achievement because of their relationship with the teacher.
That may be so but perhaps not. The student may just be kind and thoughtful. I have taken treats to class absolutely without the intention of influencing the instructor. I was just being kind.

Have you ever been in a religious course where the teacher never even tried to learn you name? He could be a great source of knowledge but never smiled or invested himself in the process. A home teacher that comes every month (that would be a miracle in and of itself) but doesn't speak to you outside of your home. He may fulfill stated expectation. Just like the student that does a great job on a paper, also fulfilling every expectation but is a grouch in class.

What about the person at work that thinks he is better than you? He does a great job, but so do you. What about the kiss-up at work? You know one, the one that seems to get every advantage and promotion who may or may not do a good job. Who do you want to be around? And what is the culture or unexpected rules of your circle, be it Church, school, or neighborhood.

We are taught supreme justice. Do the right things and get the reward or at least avoid the pitfalls. However, attitude counts and kindness matters. It can be entirely unconscious that favors are given or not. Who wants to be around the girl that is the best at everything and lets you know about it? Do you want that person on your team? Or would you prefer the one that is a little more mortal, can make mistakes but accepts you, laugh with you and celebrate your success?

Kindness matters. The kiss-up might not be such a kiss-up but one that has learned that kindness matters. Why not try the old adage, "you can trap more flies with honey than vinegar?" Or what about the "kill them with kindness" approach? If being the best isn't getting you what you want maybe you are submersed in a culture not fully based on accompolishments. No matter how much we want to believe we will be judged righteously on our actions I am afraid the context counts. Who want a very proficient secretary that can not smile?

Remember the Primary song. I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see. I say to my self remember this, kindness begins with me.

Kindness can't be the only thing but it always matters.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Life is too short to be wasted.

I received this email from my cousin, Mary Kern I just got to see in Florida:
Minnie is her sister, another cousin.


Minnie's husband, David Shuler, died yesterday. He had stomach and esophogeal cancer. He took chemo and radiation therapy but it did not kill the cancer. He weighed about 80lbs when he died. He was asleep and just stopped breathing.

They are all glad he is not suffering anymore. Minnie said she saw his fathers face, our mothers face and several faces of his relatives. They were all smiling because they wanted him there in the spitit world.

His funeral will be short because that is the way he wanted it. It will be at the Shuler Cemetery, not at the church.
Mary

Dad was supposed to be taking a picture but got a video instead. Minnie didn't want me to take her picture but here I am with my other two cousins form Florida.
Life is too short to be wasted!

The Last of Florida



The Last of Florida

Day Eight (Wednesday)

It was another rainy day. The sun shines when we drive long distances. We were not sure the trip to Dry Tortougas would go. theh operators of the bost seemed assured and we said a little prayer and followed the Spirit and went. We both took
Dramamine and were fine. It was a beautiful day on the island. It is called "dry" because there is no fresh water there! But there are national Park personell stationed there and a limited number of campers are allowed.We toured.

We snorkeled. (no pictures here! but I did go in!)

We discovered. John's name at the top of the Chapel-He was the designer-brick mason for this the second largest brick defense in the world (the great wall of China is considered the largest) that was amazing!

Then the trip back. WOW. the swells were only supposed to be 6-8 feet. But it was rough. I think everyone took Dramamine-but it wasn't enough. There were so many sick people! the repeated slamming of the boat into the water catapulted us all right out of the seats. We were literally
air-born! I will put some of the video I tried
to take here-if you watch the horizon-you can get an idea of how big the waves were.

We were relieved to get back on shore! It took almost twice as long as the trip should have fighting the wind and the waves. We had to stop and rescue another boat. It was taking on water and our boat had two pumps they could use. those people were really scared-or shoul have been!
Walking back to the car we walked through a little group of shops (looking for gifts and key lime cookies) when we found an ice cream shop and got to partake of the Key Lime Ice cream. Now that was really good stuff! On the way back to the hotel we stopped at the Blond Giraffe-a local store that makes the Key Lime Cookies. Expensive little critters. I am glad the are good! Rachael requested some.

Attached to our hotel-Pat could not imagine his good fortune-was a Waffle House. of course, we went there for dinner. We both really like Waffle House. We ate at one at least three times on this trip alone.

Key West was lovely, I would have liked to have shopped the old down town area but. . .If I ever return I would stop way up the Keys and avoid the travel time, traffic, and high prices. The water and surroundings are just as beautiful.

Day nine (Thursday)

We knew we were in for a long drive so we had to bypass the very busy Waffle House and hit the road. the trip back uo through the Keys didn't seem as long as the trip down. Pat wanted to avoid the traffic of the turnpike so he opted for the middle of the state route. I was not too happy about it but managed to keep my opinions to my self. What had been a little two lane road years ago was actually very nice. a few stop lights in the towns but a lovely view of the state. We saw rows and rows of orange groves-the was I remember them. We saw lots of trucks absolutely full of oranges. It was harvest time! We got to see lake Okeechobee and the Citrus Tower and even picked up a Winter Haven news paper for Granny. She really wanted one and I didn't think we were going to be able to go over and get her one. But things worked out well.We finished off the day with one more seafood dinner-at Red Lobster, right next door to the hotel in Orlando. Finally we got to bed at a decent hour which was good. The next day we would have to leave the hotel by 5:15 am or so. We had to find our way ("the (Magellan) girlfriend" was such a blessing!!! Thanks Dave) return the car, get through security . . .

Day ten (Friday)

Not much to say about the return trip. Going through security at Orlando International was interesting. I was glad we were there so early. The lines just seem to get longer and longer.
BUT- there was a cuban coffee shop in the airport which also sold Cuban sandwiches. I could not believe my luck. The one thing Granny kept asking for was a Cuban sandwich. I had not idea how I could get one and keep it long enough . . .but it worked out so unbelievably well. AND!!! Granny actually got it and said it tasted good. that alone was a miracle. So often she wants things to eat and then they just do not taste right-or as she remembers. this time it turned out perfect!

Just like out trip-it was a dream. I am so grateful and glad that we were able to take this trip. Just to see things once again. I don't think I will ever get the chance to return but I don't think I need to. There are too many places in this world I really want to see. Thank you Heavenly Father, Dad, Dave, all of you that helped accomplish this goal. It was wonderful!

How did I get so far behind?


I thought I had at least finished Florida. It has been a month now so I will get right on that. . .

Day five (Sunday)

Of course, we went to church. It was just so hard to find. We drove around for over an hour chasing down addresses from Dex on line . . who knew there would be and "old" road and a "new" road? Finally I spotted a spire that just looked like one of ours and it was! The next sacrament meeting was a Young Adult-Singles Ward. It was Fast and Testimony as they had Ward Conference the week before. I can't tell you how much it took me back-such a wide variety of people. I did bare my testimony and told the audience about my experiences with Black-Americans 36 years ago. i am truly grateful that now we do not have to worry about one's heritage. it is what we do that counts. "Every worthy male" was a great blessing in my life!
After Church we headed home to the hotel. Pat went to McDonalds and got us salads for dinner and we just enjoyed the afternoon nap and time together.

Day six (Monday)
We had to get up early to get to the boat for our trip to Grand Bahama Island. It was a rainy day but the ocean was not all that rough. The Boat was big enough to handle it anyway. We got a nice room and enjoyed the breakfast buffet. We met some nice young people from the island who'd been to Washington DC to perform with their band at the Cherry Blossom Festival. There were mnay such young people on the way over.
We signed up and paid for the tour of a beautiful garden on the island. Rain was not going to get in our way. But it really rained and rained and rained. We were soaked in spite fo our plastic ponchos. I was really glad we had not chosen the beach trip! The garden was really beautiful and for a bonus there were some exotic birds flying around.
The tour bus driver made an interesting comment. He thanked us-as Americans-for all we had done to help his island recover from a devastating hurricane. Evidence of the hurricane remained everywhere. But it was nice that Americans were not seen as "ugly" or "selfish" here.

We enjoyed the buffet dinner and went back to the room. It was an older boat with very, very thin walls. There was a singles party next door and a disco directly up stairs, it made for some laughable listening. Oh how blessed we are to be who we are!
Evidently Customs had a few problems with our arrival and we ended up waiting a long time to get off the boat-but when the time came we were off and out of there. We were also grateful to see so many taxi cabs lined up to transport the over indulging drinking crowd!
One last night in our beach front hotel and it is off to Key West tomorrow.

Day seven (Tuesday)

We left relatively early but wanted to avoid the rush hour traffic. We traveled the extension of the turnpike down to ------where we got off and visited for just a few minutes with one of Mary's school friends, Jill Child, who now lives there. He little boy was asleep but it was fun to see her.
The trip on down to Key wast was just a warm lovely ride, punctuated by road construction, potty and ice stops. Just part of life when traveling with Water pills!

We didn't arrive at the hotel until after four and unfortunately were too late for me to go parasailing. I really was all geared up for it.. We tried to get on the last trip of the little train-but missed that too. I was appauled at the price of parking-$10 for even just an hour! So we didn't even get to shop. We did manage to get possibly the last free spot on the island to have the southern most point picture taken.
I really wanted a good seafood dinner. We went right across the street to the Marriott. It was so good! Pat had fresh tuna and I had yellow tail with a cucumber salsa--so very good! A little expensive but soooooo good!!!