About Me

About Me

Maybe this is just what I needed- Tagged by Mary and a reason to begin again.

This is not unlike my life. I start and restart many many times. I guess as long as I do not give up, Hummm can I take consistence out of the dictionary? No just put my picture in the definition of "Try again"

1-What would be your ideal vacation? I would love to go to Israel, for at least a week, and see the Holy Land with my husband and some great LDS scriptorian and historian.

2-If you could have any paid career (with or without having to do through years of school to do it), what would it be? Seminary teacher. But in Utah that . . .I would even do it for the blessings.

3-What is your favorite song of all time? O Holy Night, How Great thou Art or Faith in Every Footstep. Boring eh??

4-What did you do on your very first date? hiked up Stone Mountain in Georgia and went to the amusement park on top. I can't remember the young man's name, he was a friend of my cousin, but it was really fun. Except for the part where my cousin, the driver of the car was going over 80 in the freeway . . .Remember this was 39 years ago and cars did not commonly go that fast, the speed limit was probably 60.

5-If you could have one free plastic surgery procedure, would you do? A major tummy (removal) tuck if a body transplant was not available. What would you change? everything below the chin, no below the lips (I kind'a like my smile,). No, I need lips, below the nose. No, the sinuses and surgical entry could . . , Below the eyes--but the eyelids are sagging. What about below the hair line? What the heck? there would not be much of me left. Just get rid of the stomach and left over sags! That would be great! Enough day dreaming!

6-What is your favorite guilty pleasure? Project Runway and Great Grains brownies.

7-What is your favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving. There is nothing to compare to the joy of recognizing our bountiful blessings, Family and the beginning of the Christmas Season--for the rest of the world-after all I get started long before that!

8-What did you do to celebrate the turn of the millenium (New Year's Eve, partying like it was 1999)? Who knows. I was just remember being grateful to be alive!

A beautiful view and excellent place to hike or a 'hell of a place to loose a cow'

This picture was taken at a recent trip to Bryce Canyon. When you consider Bryce, perspective is important. Bryce is a beautiful view, an excellent place to hike, or a "hell of a place to loose a cow."

Perspective or It's all in how you look at it

I spent some time with a friend today and once again came to the conclusion that pespective it all important!

My Mom forgot to get me a gift for my birthday. She has no idea how much that hurt my feelings, especially after Pat's family reunion. However, my mother is alive, a gift I can not begin to measure.

Another friend had a job offer, for a job he really wanted, withdrawn. But, he has a job. He is smart enough to look for employment while still employed. Such a disappointment, it cannot be denied. He has been looking for such a long time, But, he has a job.

Day after day I work with people trying to assist them in securing employment. and day after day we are met with challenges. Hundreds of applications for one job. I do not need a job, or so my husband says.

I taught a class on perspective as part of a graduate qualitative research class. I like to think I am aware of perspective. In my dissertation research three men with quadriplegia (that is how they prefer to be described if it is pertinent to the discussion) were working full time. they were grateful to be alive-looking at what they had instead of what they did not have. But there were many others that were on disability with far less disabling conditions. One told me that his hands were stiff and he could no longer lay bricks. Another had a bipolar and was content with receiving SSDI and working part time. As I interviewed people it became abundantly clear that the perspective of the client as well as the case manager/physical therapist was of critical importance. The support system available for the individual and secure housing were also critical factors. The individual with disabilities could not control all of the variables. But he/she can choose perspective.

So why write this? I have been through a rough patch. I pray I am through it! and I needed to be reminded that it's all in the perspective you choose. Yes, the glass is half empty and half full at the same time.

I wish it was easier to remember.

Because Kindness Matters

It's been a while, a long while but if I am ever to start again now is a great time.

Because Kindness Matters

As we go through life and experience the educational system and even Religion we learn that what we do matters.hat if I studied hard enough I could get an A. I would be judged by the quality of my work product. OK. But then there were the 'kiss-ups'. Nobody really liked them, or did they? If they were being nice to you or you were part of the privileged group, who knows. I wasn't part of the in crowd or at least not that I knew of.

Psychological studies have been done that show that after a teacher receives a gift from a student the teacher is no longer able to impartially judge the student or their work. jI came to know about this study via an incredible professor in my graduate studies. He refused a really cool gift that was part of a cultural presentation. How could that be? It is totally unconxcious on the part of the teacher. He/she simply has 'happy' thoughts when interacting with the student or reading the work of the generous student. The student did not offer the gift as a bribe. that was never his intention.

Have you ever been in a class with an individual that was a kiss-up and got the beat grades? You may have minimized their achievement because of their relationship with the teacher.
That may be so but perhaps not. The student may just be kind and thoughtful. I have taken treats to class absolutely without the intention of influencing the instructor. I was just being kind.

Have you ever been in a religious course where the teacher never even tried to learn you name? He could be a great source of knowledge but never smiled or invested himself in the process. A home teacher that comes every month (that would be a miracle in and of itself) but doesn't speak to you outside of your home. He may fulfill stated expectation. Just like the student that does a great job on a paper, also fulfilling every expectation but is a grouch in class.

What about the person at work that thinks he is better than you? He does a great job, but so do you. What about the kiss-up at work? You know one, the one that seems to get every advantage and promotion who may or may not do a good job. Who do you want to be around? And what is the culture or unexpected rules of your circle, be it Church, school, or neighborhood.

We are taught supreme justice. Do the right things and get the reward or at least avoid the pitfalls. However, attitude counts and kindness matters. It can be entirely unconscious that favors are given or not. Who wants to be around the girl that is the best at everything and lets you know about it? Do you want that person on your team? Or would you prefer the one that is a little more mortal, can make mistakes but accepts you, laugh with you and celebrate your success?

Kindness matters. The kiss-up might not be such a kiss-up but one that has learned that kindness matters. Why not try the old adage, "you can trap more flies with honey than vinegar?" Or what about the "kill them with kindness" approach? If being the best isn't getting you what you want maybe you are submersed in a culture not fully based on accompolishments. No matter how much we want to believe we will be judged righteously on our actions I am afraid the context counts. Who want a very proficient secretary that can not smile?

Remember the Primary song. I want to be kind to everyone, for that is right you see. I say to my self remember this, kindness begins with me.

Kindness can't be the only thing but it always matters.

Life is too short to be wasted.

I received this email from my cousin, Mary Kern I just got to see in Florida:
Minnie is her sister, another cousin.


Minnie's husband, David Shuler, died yesterday. He had stomach and esophogeal cancer. He took chemo and radiation therapy but it did not kill the cancer. He weighed about 80lbs when he died. He was asleep and just stopped breathing.

They are all glad he is not suffering anymore. Minnie said she saw his fathers face, our mothers face and several faces of his relatives. They were all smiling because they wanted him there in the spitit world.

His funeral will be short because that is the way he wanted it. It will be at the Shuler Cemetery, not at the church.
Mary

Dad was supposed to be taking a picture but got a video instead. Minnie didn't want me to take her picture but here I am with my other two cousins form Florida.
Life is too short to be wasted!

The Last of Florida

The Last of Florida

Day Eight (Wednesday)

It was another rainy day. The sun shines when we drive long distances. We were not sure the trip to Dry Tortougas would go. theh operators of the bost seemed assured and we said a little prayer and followed the Spirit and went. We both took
Dramamine and were fine. It was a beautiful day on the island. It is called "dry" because there is no fresh water there! But there are national Park personell stationed there and a limited number of campers are allowed.We toured.

We snorkeled. (no pictures here! but I did go in!)

We discovered. John's name at the top of the Chapel-He was the designer-brick mason for this the second largest brick defense in the world (the great wall of China is considered the largest) that was amazing!

Then the trip back. WOW. the swells were only supposed to be 6-8 feet. But it was rough. I think everyone took Dramamine-but it wasn't enough. There were so many sick people! the repeated slamming of the boat into the water catapulted us all right out of the seats. We were literally
air-born! I will put some of the video I tried
to take here-if you watch the horizon-you can get an idea of how big the waves were.

We were relieved to get back on shore! It took almost twice as long as the trip should have fighting the wind and the waves. We had to stop and rescue another boat. It was taking on water and our boat had two pumps they could use. those people were really scared-or shoul have been!
Walking back to the car we walked through a little group of shops (looking for gifts and key lime cookies) when we found an ice cream shop and got to partake of the Key Lime Ice cream. Now that was really good stuff! On the way back to the hotel we stopped at the Blond Giraffe-a local store that makes the Key Lime Cookies. Expensive little critters. I am glad the are good! Rachael requested some.

Attached to our hotel-Pat could not imagine his good fortune-was a Waffle House. of course, we went there for dinner. We both really like Waffle House. We ate at one at least three times on this trip alone.

Key West was lovely, I would have liked to have shopped the old down town area but. . .If I ever return I would stop way up the Keys and avoid the travel time, traffic, and high prices. The water and surroundings are just as beautiful.

Day nine (Thursday)

We knew we were in for a long drive so we had to bypass the very busy Waffle House and hit the road. the trip back uo through the Keys didn't seem as long as the trip down. Pat wanted to avoid the traffic of the turnpike so he opted for the middle of the state route. I was not too happy about it but managed to keep my opinions to my self. What had been a little two lane road years ago was actually very nice. a few stop lights in the towns but a lovely view of the state. We saw rows and rows of orange groves-the was I remember them. We saw lots of trucks absolutely full of oranges. It was harvest time! We got to see lake Okeechobee and the Citrus Tower and even picked up a Winter Haven news paper for Granny. She really wanted one and I didn't think we were going to be able to go over and get her one. But things worked out well.We finished off the day with one more seafood dinner-at Red Lobster, right next door to the hotel in Orlando. Finally we got to bed at a decent hour which was good. The next day we would have to leave the hotel by 5:15 am or so. We had to find our way ("the (Magellan) girlfriend" was such a blessing!!! Thanks Dave) return the car, get through security . . .

Day ten (Friday)

Not much to say about the return trip. Going through security at Orlando International was interesting. I was glad we were there so early. The lines just seem to get longer and longer.
BUT- there was a cuban coffee shop in the airport which also sold Cuban sandwiches. I could not believe my luck. The one thing Granny kept asking for was a Cuban sandwich. I had not idea how I could get one and keep it long enough . . .but it worked out so unbelievably well. AND!!! Granny actually got it and said it tasted good. that alone was a miracle. So often she wants things to eat and then they just do not taste right-or as she remembers. this time it turned out perfect!

Just like out trip-it was a dream. I am so grateful and glad that we were able to take this trip. Just to see things once again. I don't think I will ever get the chance to return but I don't think I need to. There are too many places in this world I really want to see. Thank you Heavenly Father, Dad, Dave, all of you that helped accomplish this goal. It was wonderful!

How did I get so far behind?

I thought I had at least finished Florida. It has been a month now so I will get right on that. . .

Day five (Sunday)

Of course, we went to church. It was just so hard to find. We drove around for over an hour chasing down addresses from Dex on line . . who knew there would be and "old" road and a "new" road? Finally I spotted a spire that just looked like one of ours and it was! The next sacrament meeting was a Young Adult-Singles Ward. It was Fast and Testimony as they had Ward Conference the week before. I can't tell you how much it took me back-such a wide variety of people. I did bare my testimony and told the audience about my experiences with Black-Americans 36 years ago. i am truly grateful that now we do not have to worry about one's heritage. it is what we do that counts. "Every worthy male" was a great blessing in my life!
After Church we headed home to the hotel. Pat went to McDonalds and got us salads for dinner and we just enjoyed the afternoon nap and time together.

Day six (Monday)
We had to get up early to get to the boat for our trip to Grand Bahama Island. It was a rainy day but the ocean was not all that rough. The Boat was big enough to handle it anyway. We got a nice room and enjoyed the breakfast buffet. We met some nice young people from the island who'd been to Washington DC to perform with their band at the Cherry Blossom Festival. There were mnay such young people on the way over.
We signed up and paid for the tour of a beautiful garden on the island. Rain was not going to get in our way. But it really rained and rained and rained. We were soaked in spite fo our plastic ponchos. I was really glad we had not chosen the beach trip! The garden was really beautiful and for a bonus there were some exotic birds flying around.
The tour bus driver made an interesting comment. He thanked us-as Americans-for all we had done to help his island recover from a devastating hurricane. Evidence of the hurricane remained everywhere. But it was nice that Americans were not seen as "ugly" or "selfish" here.

We enjoyed the buffet dinner and went back to the room. It was an older boat with very, very thin walls. There was a singles party next door and a disco directly up stairs, it made for some laughable listening. Oh how blessed we are to be who we are!
Evidently Customs had a few problems with our arrival and we ended up waiting a long time to get off the boat-but when the time came we were off and out of there. We were also grateful to see so many taxi cabs lined up to transport the over indulging drinking crowd!
One last night in our beach front hotel and it is off to Key West tomorrow.

Day seven (Tuesday)

We left relatively early but wanted to avoid the rush hour traffic. We traveled the extension of the turnpike down to ------where we got off and visited for just a few minutes with one of Mary's school friends, Jill Child, who now lives there. He little boy was asleep but it was fun to see her.
The trip on down to Key wast was just a warm lovely ride, punctuated by road construction, potty and ice stops. Just part of life when traveling with Water pills!

We didn't arrive at the hotel until after four and unfortunately were too late for me to go parasailing. I really was all geared up for it.. We tried to get on the last trip of the little train-but missed that too. I was appauled at the price of parking-$10 for even just an hour! So we didn't even get to shop. We did manage to get possibly the last free spot on the island to have the southern most point picture taken.
I really wanted a good seafood dinner. We went right across the street to the Marriott. It was so good! Pat had fresh tuna and I had yellow tail with a cucumber salsa--so very good! A little expensive but soooooo good!!!

Days Three (Friday) and Four (Saturday) in Florida

Days Three(Friday) and Four(Saturday) in Florida

It was Friday and we decided to go to the Orlando Temple. It was built 14 years ago, long after I left the state. The Orlando Temple is absolutely beautiful! The Celestial room has touches of lavendar and purple like the wisteria that blooms so abundantly in Florida.

It was like every other temple session with one glaring exception. As I was offered a hand I could see it was a deep brown color and the man spoke with a thick Hispanic accent. It was then real to me, all my friends, no matter their color could now receive the gospel and be blessed based on their own choices. It was a thrill! Way back when. . . we were not even encouraged to discuss the gospel with our black friends. There were boycotts and protests regarding the Church's Stand. In Miami in 1972/73 there were race riots and burnings. And I could not understand why black men could not hold the Priesthood. But I knew—I did not know everything, nor would I ever. But the Lord knew and I had faith in Him.

It was only four years later, I remember hearing the news for the first time as we were driving out to the University Mall, that all worthy male members of the church would be extended the privilege of holding the Priesthood. But not until I stood in the Orlando Temple on that day did I see that all my dreams and wishes for these good people—who had done nothing wrong—became a reality. I saw more handsome dark-skinned men and beautiful women in the Temple that day than I ever sould have imagined as a youth. The same was true on Sunday when we finally found a meeting house. This experience alone was worth the whole trip. Thank you Heavenly Father!

Then it was time to head south. It was a longer drive than I expected. The Turnpike is nice enough but the orange groves were missing. We found them on the way back through the middle of the state. There was plenty of traffic!

When we arrived at the hotel, after Magellen, the “girlfriend,” tried to keep us going around and around the very last block before we arrived, we were a bit surprised. It was not the four star hotel it was made out to be on the internet. But I knew my sweet husband and son had done their very best to secure a really nice place for us-so NO complaints were heard from me. Although the walls and bathrooms had been updated-old hotels have very thin walls and . . . . We ventured down to the beach for a bit. After which we had a nice dinner—back in our room watching a beautiful sunset from the balcony. The tiki bar was very loud and uncomfortable to us non-drinkers. They did have good food and it was reasonably priced. I should mention, we tried several times to get into our room. The key just wouldn't work, no matter how many times they re-programed it at the front desk. The maintenance man finally got it to work but thought the battery might be going out, but he didn't replace it. Not once in four days did the key work the first time we tried. I gave up and left the fight with the door to him. He was pretty good at it by the time we left.

Saturday turned out to be the only day we would spend in Miami. It was further from Fort Lauderdale than Pat had thought. But Saturday really meant less traffic as we got an early start.
First stop, Key Biscayne and Crandon Park. I spent much of my life on that beach. Now it was more beautiful than ever. It was at least twice as wide and covered in pristine white sand. The Zoo was gone, moved to South Miami somewhere. But the old cabanas were still there as was the carousel and skating rink. We only stayed a few minutes as I had many miles to go!
Second stop, the lighthouse at the State park. Saturday in the town of Key Biscayne was very busy and full of traffic and soccer games for young and old. We waited in line for a good while before getting into the park. Never could figure out why they didn't open the other line. Even when we left it was still closed, and the line was horribly long by then. The lighthouse looked the very same. About the only thing that looked the same after 34 years. The beach was just as I'd left it, but couldn't compare to the beautifully expanded shore line of Crayndon Park. Again we only stayed for a few minutes. But this time I
took a picture of my feet in the water. With all the rainy weather I had my doubts about actually getting into the water all the way on this trip.

Back over the Causeway we went. The big bridge had been named for my Mom's boss, William Powell. That was really cool to see. The Rusty Pelican was still there but it appeared the water- raceway had been shut down. It was covered with graffiti. NOAA and the Seaquarium were still functioning but the number of boats docked around the place had probably tripled.

We then drove down Brickell Road to Dinner key where we used to take our take-out dinner and watch the sunset and the boats. The pavilion was gone but the place looked well cared for-as did the large number of boats and trucks and trailers all around.

Then we ventured up 27th Avenue to see if any of our old houses were still standing. No! We didn't find a one. But they were old when I lived in them. The one in Coral Gate was probably still there but I didn't go down the street to see. We then drove through Coral Gables on the Miracle Mile. Sears was still on the corner as was the restaurant formerly known as Sambos. It was lovely. Non of the Gables area looked like a hurricane had been though. Whereas, you could really tell every place else we went. The old builders knew about hurricanes and built things to last!

It was off to the old Miami second ward. I had wanted to go to church there but. . .it was no longer the second ward. It was the Stake center for the Miami South Stake and Spanish as well. But the building looked good. There were cars around but it was locked up. I did get a few pictures. I spent a lot of time in that building. It is where I learned about the Gospel, and gained a testimony of the truth.

We stopped a a little bakery across Flagler and I got a pastry-carne. Exactly as I remembered, it was so good! We also had some chocolate milk, I guess that was breakfast. But while we were there I struck up a conversation (imagine that if you can) with a local man and he told us where we could get a good Cuban sandwich. It wasn't too far so that is where we went for lunch.

Cuban sandwiches are kind of like subs. People put different things on them. But I got the traditional one with pickles and grilled in a press. It was good! Pat decided he'd might as well try one while he was there. It was a funny place just teaming with Cubans. I am pretty sure I was the only one there that did not speak Spanish. But it sure felt familiar.


Then back across town to Miami High. As you can see from the pictures, it was undergoing renovation. Considering how old (over 80 years) it was, it was a good thing. But it was sad to see it so run down. I still got a couple of good pictures that can give you a hint as to its former glory.

I somehow missed the Orange Bowl as we continued to drive east. It may have been torn down. But we drove right through downtown and then over the Rickenbacher Causway. We hit a lot of traffic but that gave me time to look around. Everything has grown up! We traveled north upo the middle of Miami Beach, what a zoo! But it was Saturday afternoon. The old run down hotels of the 30's and 40's have been restored mostly. It was cool to see the Art-Deco styles and colors. But the people. No one watched out for cars! I ws glad to find the Julia Tuttle Causway and head back east over the intercoastal waterway and then north toward the hotel.

We stopped at the Jungle Queen and got tickets for the 6pm tour and all you can eat buffet. I was able to locate and use the coupon for $3 off each ticket! WooHoo!! I thought we had enough time to get back to the hotel and rest for a few minutes. I was right but the few minutes-after struggling with the door and getting maintenance to let us in again was less than 15. Not worth the effort or the gas really.

Nonetheless we made it bake to the boat and got good seats on the port side and enjoyed the tour through the Venice of America. I hesitate to say enjoyed. The obvious consumption of goods and displays of wealth were somewhat troubling. I can see where people might get ideas about “deserving” help and the need for redistribution of wealth. I am glad I live in Utah and do not need to see this kind of display all the time. And talk about a lot of boats, yachts I should say, man oh man.
They were everywhere! And huge repair places! Do you know what BOAT means? Bring Out Another Thousand. The dinner was good, all you can eat ribs, shrimp, chicken. . . which pleased both of us. And a nice little show that, of course was moved inside due to rain.

We were two tired people!